


To Define Albion

by Nebula5030



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 1000 words, Arthur Returns, Depression, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Immortal Merlin, Near suicide attempt, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 12:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15461460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030/pseuds/Nebula5030
Summary: Arthur was said to return during the time of Albion's greatest need.  But when fifteen hundred years come and go without him coming back, Merlin begins to believe he never will.And he's just so tired of waiting.





	To Define Albion

Merlin was tired.

That was the simplest way to describe how he felt. How to describe the ache in his chest when he woke up day after day, year after year,  _ century  _ after  _ century _ , alone.

None knew his real name.  None knew his story. None knew  _ who he was. _  He watched as generation after generation lived, grew, and died, with him staying throughout it all.  Staying, as names faded from memory. Staying, as peoples grew, flourished, and faded, just as his own had done centuries before.

And he was  _ tired. _

He was just so tired of  _ waiting. _

Merlin was kneeling at the edge of a lake- the same one that he stared out across the centuries, remembering a boat that carried away his destiny, and hoping for a flash of golden hair, for a sign of a king returned to her people.

A sign that never came.

In his hands was a blade- a knife, forged in dragon's breath as one last gift from Aithusa before she had followed the rest of her kin to the place Merlin could not follow.

_ Just in case, _ he had said, when justifying why he had made such a weapon to himself.

_ Just in case. _

… Would it be enough?

"I'm tired, Arthur," Merlin murmured, his voice drowned out by the wind to all but himself.  "I’m tired of waiting. You're never coming back, are you?

“So much has happened- so many wars, so many disasters, but you’ve never come.  Not once. Not ever. I guess I just have to accept that you never will, don’t I?”

Merlin turned his gaze up towards the stars- the one thing in the world that he had thought was constant, but even they had changed: some stars vanished, others joined.  He even saw that some had moved from where they had been during nights with his mother, with her telling him stories about the figures they made.

At least the same moon that had been with him all those years ago would be with him now.

Merlin let out a shaky breath, not even realizing that tears had begun to leak from his eyes; barely feeling them as they ran down his cheeks and dropped off his chin, staining the pale sand below before fading into the earth.

Soon.  Soon he wouldn’t have to wait any longer.

With one last look at the stars, he shut his eyes and lifted the blade, pointing the tip towards his heart.

"Merlin?"

Merlin opened his eyes with a sharp gasp, unsure whether to trust his ears.

He often heard people say his name- his  _ real  _ name that no one had uttered to him in hundreds of years.  In the murmurs of the crowd, in the bustle of the street.

But it never was.  No one ever called him by that name any more.

Sometimes he had heard it in the voices of those he had missed the most- his mother, Gaius, Gwen, Lancelot, Gwaine.

Arthur.

It was Arthur’s voice now, cutting through the darkness, uttering his name more clearly than he had heard it in years.

Merlin froze, yet his hand shaking as it held the blade in front of him and his breathing growing ragged.  It can’t- it can’t be.

He looked over his shoulder, and there they were,  _ all of them- _ Arthur, Gwen, Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival, Leon, Elyan.

Even Morgana, looking at him with concerned and kind eyes that he hadn't seen in so long, no trace of the hatred he had come to believe would never be separated from them.

Arthur stepped forward, his expression worried.  “Merlin?” he asked again, his own voice shaking.

Merlin made a choked noise, before shaking his head rapidly, the tears coming more quickly.

"I'm seeing things.  You're not here. You're never here."

"Merlin, put the knife down.  Please."

Merlin shook his head once more.  “This… this isn’t real.  _ None of you are real!” _  They had to be- nothing more than an illusion, a mockery of everything he had lost.

No one moved, not even Merlin, though his hand still shook from where he was holding the knife, his grip on the handle so tight he could feel the markings of the hilt digging into his skin.

One move.  One move would be all that it would take.

But… what was stopping him?

Slowly, Arthur crossed the sand, kneeling by Merlin and looking him over with concerned, yet soft, eyes.  

Arthur reached out a hand and brushed it against the one with which Merlin was holding the knife, and Merlin started at the contact, so sure he had been that Arthur had been a hallucination and nothing more.  

Arthur gently coaxed the knife from Merlin’s grip, and when it was clear of Merlin’s fingers, Arthur turned and threw it across the sand, getting it as far away from Merlin as he could.

Arthur turned back, his eyes still wide, and Merlin’s still looking at him in disbelief.

“Merlin,” Arthur said, gently putting his hands to Merlin’s face.  He smiled ruefully. “We’re back. You don’t have to wait anymore.”

Merlin’s eyes flicked between Arthur’s for a moment, before he let out a sob and lunged forward, embracing Arthur tightly.

Arthur returned the hug- awkwardly, and Merlin hiccupped a laugh between his sobs.  

Arthur was here.   _ Arthur was here. _

Someone else joined them in the sand- Gwaine, Merlin realized- kneeling with them on the sand and wrapping his arms around both Arthur and Merlin.  He pressed a gentle kiss to Merlin’s hair and Merlin let out another sob at the contact.

Gwen followed, then Lancelot.  Then everyone else in turn, embracing Merlin and letting him know.

_ We’re here, we’re here.  You’re not alone anymore. _

And Merlin only cried, burying his face in Arthur’s shoulder as the sobs of relief raked through his body, as he felt the arms of everyone he had missed holding him, letting him know they were there, and that they were never going to leave him again.

His wait was over.

**Author's Note:**

> _"Asgard is not a place, it is a people." - Thor: Ragnarok_


End file.
